Ashes & Wine
by PaigeMadison
Summary: What if Bella didn't jump? Will she settle for Jacob? What if sooner than later, Edward snaps and comes back to Forks? What will he find? Story better than summary, i swear. Give it a chance. Updates daily. READ IT! It's worth it, i swear.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE

_**This story picks up where Bella is down at the jumping cliffs at La Push. She's just about to jump.**_

**Stephanie Meyer Owns EVERYTHING. I own nothing but a box of Bagel Bites and a computer. Some parts of the story are quoted from New Moon, or in Midnight Sun. Again, DISCLAIMER: Not mine! I didn't write it! Miss Stephenie Meyer did. I will mention if some is quoted.**

**Reviews are better than Big Macs for me, people. That's pretty major! The more reviews you guys give me, the sooner I shall post up my next chapter! It's waaaitttinnggg for you! **

**Give and you shall receive, my lovelies.**

**Bella's POV**—

_(Disclaimer: Underlined section is snatched from New Moon. That part belongs to Stephenie Meyer.)_

I stepped onto the edge, keeping my eyes on the empty space in front of me. My toes felt ahead blindly, caressing the edge of the rock when they encountered it. I drew in a deep breath and held it…waiting.

"Bella."

I smiled and exhaled.

_Yes? _I didn't answer out loud, for the fear that the sound of my voice would shatter the beautiful illusion. He sounded so real, so close. It was only when he was disapproving like this that I could hear the true memory of his voice—the velvet texture and the musical intonation that made up the most perfect of all voices.

"Don't do this," he pleaded.

_You wanted me to be human,_ I reminded him. _Well, watch me._

"Please." It was just a whisper in the blowing rain that tossed my hair and drenched my clothes—making me as wet as if this were my second jump of the day.

I rolled onto the balls of my feet.

"No Bella!" He was angry now, and the anger was so lovely.

I smiled and raised my arms straight out, as if I were going to dive, lifting my face into the rain. But it was too ingrained from years of swimming at the public pool—feet first, first time. I leaned forward, crouching to get more spring…

I felt my body whip backwards away from the edge. _Wait,_ I thought, as I watched the blur of the cliff fading in the distance. I was now aware of what had happened as I felt Jacob's warm arms around me. I waited patiently for him to stop. He set me down on a rotting log. I looked up into his eyes as he slung me across his lap. "Bella!" He said, surprising me with fury evident in his voice. "Yes? What's wrong?" I said, honestly

curious. "What did you think you were doing? Jumping off the top of the cliff, without me! Didn't you realize it was turning into a hurricane out there!?" His voice was booming, and his arms were quivering around me. He took deep breaths, calming himself enough to where he wasn't trembling. "I was bored, and you said you would take me cliff diving today." His eyes were studying my face. "You couldn't have waited for me to come back, so you would be safe?" He was fighting to keep his tone even. "I'm sorry, Jake, it was stupid. I wasn't thinking." "OBVIOUSLY!"

He shouted. I flinched. It was not a pleasant thing to sit on an angry werewolf's lap while he yells in your face. He shut his eyes, once again trying to calm himself. He took a deep breath, and cradled me in his arms, half jogging, and half running back to my truck. I needed to distract him. "So what happened today? Did you find…h-her?" My voice broke. "No. We were about to close in on her and I saw you at the cliffs while I

was chasing after her. So, I had to go get you." He snapped. _Oh, no._ I thought. I regretted the whole cliff bit. What was I thinking? I just wanted to hear his voice. It was such a selfish thing, to risk my life to hear the voice of the vampire who left me. I kept coming in close proximity with danger, drawing Jacob away from his duties. He shouldn't have to keep swooping down and saving me. We drove in silence on the way back to Billy's house. I was contemplating what to say, what to do, how to make it up to him. I rested my head on his bare shoulder, and I

realized how good this felt. Part of it was how warm he was, part of it was maybe something else… His arm tightened around me. A tear stroked my face. I don't know how to love anymore. I don't know if I can. A part of me is still with _him. He _stole it, and won't give it back. Jacob shouldn't have to wait for a girl who was unsure if she could love him back. I was still thinking these thoughts as we pulled up to Billy's. It

wasn't like I had drowned, and I was weak or anything. But Jacob quickly put his arm around my waist, leading me inside. He unwrapped it to flip on the lights, and he sat down on the couch, crinkling his forehead and put his face in his hands. I realized he was more upset than I had thought. He looked like he was about to cry. I didn't know what I would do if my personal sun would cry, so I hurried to the couch, snuggling up

tight against his chest. I shut my eyes. His arm that was around me uncurled, grabbing my shoulder, and lifting my chin with his other hand. His body moved back slightly so that he could face me. I froze as I stared into his desperate eyes. I searched his face. His lips puckered slightly, seemingly without his permission. "Bella." He spoke my name. My eyes bored into his. I didn't know what to do. He was moving in slowly.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Maybe I would enjoy it. Maybe I could love him. Not like my first, no. I could never love anyone like that ever again. But maybe, if I did have him like boyfriend, he would stop hurting. Maybe I wouldn't hurt so much having him there like that…Maybe… --_Be happy--_, Edward's voice rung in my head. I could hear the slightest sorrow masked by hope. He leaned in farther, just a few centimeters away from my lips. His warm breath fanned across my face. Then, our lips touched lightly at first, then harder. It was different from any other

kiss I'd had before. There was no hesitation. He broke off suddenly, after what seemed like forever. He looked into my eyes. I couldn't say anything. I didn't know what to do. I wasn't sure how it felt. I didn't know what to make of it. "I love you," he said, breaking my train of thought. "I love you, too," I heard another voice call proudly, surprised to find that it was my voice. His face lit up like the fourth of July. It was

worth it to stop his pain. He deserved to be happy. No, it wouldn't be the same. I would never have a love like my first. Never. But I needed to try, and I just had to stop hurting Jacob. He was there for me, always. Patient and loving. Jake had never hurt me the way _he_ had.

**Edward's POV**—

_(Disclaimer: Underlined part is snatched from Midnight Sun. Underlined part belongs completely to Stephenie Meyer.)_

I wasn't precisely sure where I was. Some dark attic crawl space, full of rats and spiders. The spiders ignored me, and the rats gave me a wide berth. The air was thick with the heavy scents of cooking oil, rancid meat, human sweat, and the nearly solid layer of pollution that was actually visible in the humid air, like a black film over everything. Below me, four stories of a rickety ghetto tenement teamed with life. I didn't bother to

separate the thoughts from the voices—they made a big, loud Spanish clamor that I didn't listen to. I just let the sounds bounce off me. Meaningless. All of it was meaningless. My very existence was meaningless. My whole world was meaningless. My forehead pressed against my knees, and I wondered how long I would be able to stand this. Maybe it was hopeless. Maybe, if my attempt was doomed to failure anyway, washing away the mountain of pain I was buried under—that it made me gasp, it made me dizzy. I could leave now, I could go back. Bella's

face always behind the lids of my eyes, smiled at me. It was a smile of welcome, of forgiveness, but it did not have the affect of my subconscious probably it intended to have. I can't go back. I promised.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

_Hello! Hello! Ah, sorry it took me so long to update. Lots and lots going on. Mostly school, bleh._

_Anyway!_

_Just keep reading, and i will have chapter three up by tomorrow. Have any guesses, suggestions, constructive criticism?_

_I value all worthy opinions. I take them to heart, my Twilight addicted family. Thanks for everything._

_I love you all!_

_READ ON!_

**Bella's POV**—

(A month has passed, and she and Jacob are a couple. The wolves have caught up with Victoria, killing her.)

I was almost happy. Well, at least I wasn't _un_happy. That was all I could ask for from life anymore. Victoria was gone, but that still didn't seem to get my spirits up like I expected it to. I put on a performance every day now. For Jacob, of course. His happiness was my first priority, always. But he didn't have the slightest fraction of an idea of how badly I still hurt sometimes. I still had dreams of _him._ There didn't seem to be

anything I could do to make them go away. I didn't want to remember, but I didn't want to forget altogether, either. I was lost in a maze of myself. So, every day, I would put on an almost-genuine looking smile, and be with Jacob. I didn't know if he could see the hurt in my eyes anymore. I woke with a start, eyes wet and head aching. I sighed, glad the dream was over, and hurried out of bed before I could think

anymore about the details of my dream. It was my most popular nightmare. The day he left me, in the forest. I gasped for air, and clutched at my chest. I snatched my CD player, pressed play hastily, and turned the volume way up. I popped the ear buds in my ears, and took a sip of water. It tasted funny. I snatched the ear buds out, and stood up, only to fall back down on my bed. Head rush. I waited impatiently for the

dizzy state to pass, stood back up and tip-toed down the hall, to the bathroom. I flipped the light on, and squeezed my eyes shut at the sudden brightness. I opened the cupboard and clutched for the Benadryl. I dumped some out into my hand, and cupped it to my mouth. I forgot to count how many to take. I was pretty sure I only took three. I glanced into the mirror, and quickly looked away, disappointed at my face. Not

only was it painfully ordinary, but now my eyes were red and swollen, making myself look that much uglier. I was in a rush to get away from the mirror, before I could remember why I had been crying. I shut the light off, and stumbled back to the hallway, forgetting to attempt to be graceful. I tripped at the doorway of my room, not having enough time to catch myself on the door frame. I fell on my side, making a loud thud.

I groaned quietly, waiting for Charlie to come stomping worriedly into my room. But, for some reason, his snoring kept up quietly. Maybe it wasn't as loud as I thought it was. I laid there, my wet cheek against the wooden floorboards of my room. I gave up trying not to see his face. I didn't care about the ripping and shredding of the inside of my torso. I pulled up an image of _his_ face from my mind. It was beautiful. So, I

imagined him in the room with me; I stared at the blank doorway, imagining him swooping in protectively to my side. He lay down next to me, stroking my wet cheek with his cool fingers, and softly kissing my forehead with his solid, marble satin lips. I imagined tracing his cool, perfect cheek with my fingers. I crawled to the window, and put my back to the window, and rested my neck on the window sill. I slipped into

unconsciousness with a slow, lonely agony. I woke up once again, to an impatient tapping on the window. I didn't think before I reacted. I shot up onto my feet gasping too loudly, "Edward!" As if it was him at the window. Jacob looked at me from outside the window, and I watched his face go blank, his lips tighten into a flat line. I chewed on my lip nervously, trying to pretend like I hadn't just said that. How could I be so

stupid? I swooped over to the window, sliding it up. I leaned out the window, kissing Jake on the cheek. He didn't move at all. "Hey Jake," I said quickly, not wanting meeting his blank gaze. "Hurry up, come in, you're letting the cold in." He moved slowly inside, without making a sound, staring at me the whole time. I turned my head so he wouldn't see my swollen eyes and wet face. I jumped onto my bed, trying too

hard to be casual. I inconspicuously tried to wipe my cheek on my pillow without Jacob noticing what I was doing. This attempt was in vain, for I knew he was watching me the whole time. He slid the window shut, and took my face in his hands, staring into my reddened eyes. "Is _he_ back?" he spat. I flinched at the sharp tone of his voice, but I really shouldn't have been surprised. It was my entire fault, anyway. "Uh, no. It

was a dream. You startled me…I'm—I'm really sorry Jake." His eyes relaxed, but not completely. He was obviously disappointed to the fact that I was dreaming of _him. _His dark fingers traced my eyes. I scrunched my face, embarrassed that he knew I was crying and rolled onto my other side on my bed. He lay down behind me, wrapping his arm around my waist, too tightly. He clenched his fist into a ball. "Bella…" he said, pure

agony in his voice. "You still love him, don't you?" I was surprised I had kept this conversation off as long as I had. If he knew the truth, it would have come up forever ago. There was no point in lying. "I always will," I knew. "Not because I want to, no. But because it doesn't seem like I get a choice in the matter anyways. I try not to, but he's always there, in my mind. In the corner of my heart, his voice in my head when

I'm being stupid or reckless…" "What do you mean, when you're being stupid or reckless?" he countered. Oops. I shouldn't have said that. But, I know that as long as the subject is out, I need to just get it all out and move on, so that he really knew who it was he was loving. And why he shouldn't. I could never love Jake the way I loved Edward—wince. "Whenever I do something stupid…I hear him in my head. Perfectly clear,

like he's standing right at my side. It's more than a memory." I realized that I sounded psychotic. "Oh," he said lamely. "I'm so sorry Jake. I'm trying my very best. Maybe I'm even getting better…maybe I'm moving on," I lied. I had to try to make him happy. He started to speak, trying to hide the fact that he was crying, "I could be just like him. I could make you love me like him. Even better, I bet! It's that stupid leech's fucking

fault!" he said, his voice trembling. "I—I—I, just can't stand the fact that you love him more than you will ever love me. And that I love you more than he ever did…" This was killing me. "Jacob. I'm so sorry. You deserve so much more than me. I don't know if I will ever move on completely. And you deserve a girl who will love you with every single particle of her being. You deserve someone who is whole. Who isn't broken, like me.

You should move on, Jake." He was sobbing, now. My own personal sun was crying, because of me. I hated myself more than anyone else in the entire world. "I can't Bells! I'm not going to give up. I will be better than he ever was!" I turned, to him, wiping away his tears with my fingers. A fresh batch of tears brushed across my face in constant streams, matching his. I felt horrible knowing he won't ever be better than

Edward. I felt terrible because Edward had left me, and here was Jake, by my side, in pure agony…and it was entirely my fault. It was all out there now. I had told him everything, and I wished I hadn't. And he wasn't going to move on just like he should, just like I knew he wouldn't. I slipped into a restless sleep in Jacob's arms.

* * *

I realize this is pretty short. I apologize. But i need ideas! Help! Help! Help!

I don't have anything witty or charming to say to persuade you to review my story.

Shows how creative i am! Well, i'm just going to shuttup now. I love you all! Again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Edward's POV**—

My head was pressed against my knees. I lifted it slowly; it felt like it weighed twice my body weight. I couldn't take it anymore. I reached for my phone, dialing in the digits for the airport. I was going back to Forks. I snapped. I gave up trying to be away from my whole meaning of life.

Alice would see me going back, and she would tell the rest of my family. I should hurry. I used this as an excuse to hurry up fast. Now knowing that I had given up, that soon enough I would be in the same town as my love, I felt weightless. Like I was floating, excited and yet disappointed at my weakness. When I got there, I wouldn't tell anyone. So that she wouldn't know I was here. I would stay among the

shadows and just watch her. This should be enough. Maybe this would be enough for me. Just to see her deep brown eyes, and breathe her air. Taste her scent. My faint memory of her scent wasn't as powerful as it would be in person. I couldn't wait. My selfish side was taking over. I quickly made the arrangements for my flight.

**Alice's POV**—

My eyelids flicked open. I gasped loudly at the images dancing in my head. "I can't believe it! EDWARD! EDWARD IS GOING BACK TO FORKS!" Jasper was at my side in a flash, grasping my hands in between his. I couldn't contain my excitement. It was a good thing Jasper had a hold of me; otherwise I swear I would have exploded. I rushed over to the phone, making the necessary arrangements for the trip back home. We

made it there the next day. We all hurried back to our old home trying to stay on the down low. I wasn't completely sure if we were allowed to talk to Bella, or meet up with old acquaintances. He kept changing his mind. I was pretty sure he didn't know, himself, what he planned on doing. Esme got to work right away. Dusting and cleaning the whole house. We were done and settled in just a half hour. I kept searching my visions for when Edward would be coming home. I wish he would just make up his mind. We all sat around the table, after getting a fairly accurate prediction as to when he would be coming home, waiting.

**Edward's POV**—

I pulled into the driveway, not surprised to see the cars of my family already there. I knew what to expect. I would enter the house to greet an overly excited Esme and Alice, a pissed-off looking Rosalie, a happy hug from Emmett and Carlisle. I had no idea what I was going to say. "I gave up trying to stay away from my reason of life, Bella, so I snapped and came back to Forks to stalk her and make sure she's okay, without

her knowing I'm even here?" I think not. I would make it sound a little less pathetic, at the very least. There was no point in lying. They knew me all too well. They knew exactly what had happened. I took a deep breath and opened up my car door, lingering there a moment before shutting it and walking up to the door at a normal, human speed. I took another deep, unnecessary breath, and stepped inside my home to my waiting family.

**Bella's POV**—

When I woke up, I was a mess. I squeezed my head in between my hands, every part of me wishing last night hadn't happened. I didn't know what to expect from Jacob, from our 'relationship'. If it even was, anymore. A part of me wished he would move onto someone better for him. Who would love him with everything they had, no strings attached. Jacob deserved everything good and more. But, still, I knew that he

wouldn't. A very selfish part of me was glad. Glad that I was holding him back, and leading him on as long as I wasn't alone. I hated that. I truly was a terrible person, wasn't I? Yes, yes I was. I rolled over, and Jacob wasn't there. Why should he be? After what I did to him, he should be halfway to Mexico by now. But I knew that he would be in La Push, waiting for me like always.

**Jacob's POV**—

After Bella fell asleep…I didn't know what to do. I shouldn't—couldn't stay right now. I gathered all my strength and left Forks. I didn't plan on leaving permanently, just for a little while. Two or three days…maybe more. Not long, though. I need to clear my head and try to think rationally. I got up slowly, trying not to wake her. I hope she didn't think I was leaving her like that leech did. She shouldn't, because I had already told her I was going to be better than him, and I

meant it. But I wasn't sure if I could do it. Love her and pretend she loved me back. Maybe, in time, she will love me back in even the smallest fraction that I love her. Maybe. I don't know why I didn't leave her a note or anything. That was stupid, really stupid. But I wasn't thinking anyway. I just up and left. I wasn't even sure where I would go or stay, but I needed to get away, just for a little while. I really need to think about some things...

**Edward's POV**—

I slipped out of the house and off of the property. It almost hurt to see their faces. My family's constant, worried gaze. I hated how much this affected them. How much my pain reflected theirs. I quickly banished these thoughts, not wanting to dwell on the negatives after knowing where I was. I was here on business. I had things to do, a lover to follow. The thought of seeing her bright, happy face again was almost more

than I could bear. I picked up my pace. I was running now, fast as I could. Where to go? Where to start? Where was she? Does she still smell the same? AH! Go man, go! I hurried through the forest, coming nearer and nearer to the opening of her home. I slowed, vaguely recognizing the surroundings. I stopped at the mouth of the forest, which opened to her driveway. The sight of her home nearly lifted me off my feet. I wondered what was going to happen when I saw her face…

**Bella's POV**—

I curled back up into my bed. Where was Jacob? Billy was just as clueless as I was. He hadn't heard of him since before he came to my room. Had I really scared him off? _Oh no, _I thought_._ What am I supposed to do now? I mustn't jump to conclusions so hastily. He was probably just off clearing his head. I really didn't blame him. That sounded like a good idea right now. To just jump up and take off for awhile…Somewhere far

from Forks. Only temporary, of course. I thought to myself, _but what if?_ What if Jacob just took off totally and left me empty, once again? Back to the case of the walking coma. My lip trembled. The hole in the center of my chest was ripping and tearing, shredding its way outward, threatening to gobble me whole. I shut my eyes, and prayed for sleep. I had spent the whole day in bed, worrying, worrying, and, more

worrying. It was obviously a talent of mine. I jumped back to the thought of leaving for a drive, seemingly the only thought that calmed me at this point. It truly sounded like a fantastic idea. Screw it, I'm going. I need to go for a drive, and calm myself. I jumped out of my bed, pulling on a dirty grey sweatshirt and some sweatpants and headed for the door, snagging my keys on the way out. I headed toward the kitchen,

expecting to find Charlie, but surprised to find a note stating that he had gone out for the night with a few friends. He said that he might be out late, and not to wait up for him. Good for him. He deserved some time out. I checked the clock, it was nearly ten. I shuffled out of the kitchen, almost falling twice. I wondered if my lack of movement today had something to do with my extra clumsiness. I stumbled into the light of the

outside, isolating my truck key with my fingers. I jammed the key into the door and fumbled with it a moment before it gave up and unlocked. I slid into my seat, sighed, and jumped at the sudden sound of the engine roaring to life. I nearly chuckled, I was sure I had gotten used to that by now. Oh, well. I backed out too quickly, and took off trying my hardest to leave my troubles back in my driveway.

Unfortunately, i knew i couldn't stay out for very long. But, as soon as i pulled out, i almost immediately felt a tad better. I didn't know where i was going, or what i was going to do...I just had to drive. Sometimes running is the best we can ask of a situation. It's unfortunately only a temporary trip, but it's got to be worth it at the time.

__

**

* * *

**

**My apologies! **Ack! It takes me longer than i think it's going to to post up another chapter. I apologize, my friends. I'm just so freakin' lazy. Anways, give yourselves a round of applause! I had an AMAZING reaction to Chapter Two, and i thought i was going to cry when all the reviews started rolling in one after the other! You are all my very favorite! I realize i'm babbling, but oh well. Keep 'em coming. Spread the word and all that jazz. I SHOULD post more chapters up this weekend. But i'm done making promises. A thousand sorries for taking so long.

Read on my Twilight addicted FanFiction readers!

Paigey Waigey Wuvs You All!

((:


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello!**

_So, i got really freakin' great reviews on the last chapter._

_I'm so happy! Anywhooo, just keep it coming. You people make my day._

_Good news and Bad news._

_Bad: This is a freakishly short chapter._

_Good: I'll probably post more up today or tonight._

_Well. Read On! I love you all!_

**Edward's POV**—

I listened as i heard her tumble out of her room, into the kitchen. She lingered there for a few moments, before continuing on her way to the door. She stumbled twice, just on the way to the door. Remembering her clumsiness sent a giddy giggle bubbling up through my throat. I felt like i could fly. I nearly ripped the tree i was grasping for unnecessary support in half in anticipation to see _her. _I felt a hidden warmth emanating from my very core as soon as i could see her leg stepping out of the door...

Then, i saw her face. At first i felt numb. Bella? Is that really Bella? I could not believe it. What was wrong with her? At the very moment i saw her face, i felt the undeniable urge to run to her side and stroke her blush-less cheek. It looked like someone had gone and drained every ounce of any good out of her world. She was scary pale, even more than usual. Her face was even thinner, if that was possible. But what

nearly knocked me off of my feet were her eyes. They absolutely could NOT be her eyes. The warm, eager, chocolate brown eyes that swear i knew better than my own face were now...dead... That was all i could say to describe them. They were lifeless... Merely weary-looking brown orbs. Not only that, but they had dark, heavy purple circles under them, which obviously suggested serious sleep deprivation. Without my

permission, i let out a gasp. Her head turned my way, and i made sure i was safely hidden in the shadows. She looked away quickly, making a bee-line for her truck. She seemed distracted, eager to get away from the house. I sifted through my head, looking for something that could have gone wrong for her. I had taken the monster out of her life..._me..._ _So what possibly could be wrong now_? I watched as her truck roared to life,

and backed out too quickly, whining in protest. I felt myself floating out of the woods, i felt empty. I just stood there, not sure what to do. I felt as if i might collapse inside of myself. I had never hurt this bad before, not when i had left her, not even the fiery-venom in my veins. No, this was much different. This was, beyond any agony that i had every come across in my many years of life. It was not a pain any being, dead, or alive deserved to feel. To see the one person that matters most to me, like the walking dead. (No pun intended.)

I quickly snapped out of it, blinking several times. I had to follow her. I needed to know where she was going, why she was so...dead looking... and if she had _someone_ to make her feel better. I broke into a sprint, carefully staying among the shadows. It was a good thing that it was a gloomy day. I followed her, confused as she took the one-oh-one north. It was harder to keep up here, staying hidden. But, i kept up closely as she turned right one the one-ten. Where was she going? Hiking? I grimaced. Bella? Hiking? I remembered what a hard time she

had when i had taken her hiking to the meadow, and that was _only_ 5 miles. I couldn't believe what i was seeing when she stopped at the end of an isolated road, which constricted into a thin foot trail. A strange pain washed over me. She has been here before. With me. She was going to the meadow. I adjusted myself so i was hanging safely in a tree bed away from her sight. But i could see her. I watched as she just

stared ahead blankly, gripping the wheel for support. She gasped suddenly, tears rushing to her face. She quickly clutched at her chest, wrapping her arms around herself in a tight bear hug. She trembled, shaking her head violently. She struggled to regain composure, stifling a few loud sobs when they escaped her throat. I snapped off a large branch, trying to resist the urge to run to her, and wipe away her tears. This was going to be harder than i thought...

I kept perfectly still as she looked up, confused. She squinted her eyes, and then they grew large. She looked right in my direction. I was gripping the branch, holding it still, my eyes wide and horrified. She **CAN'T **see me! Can she? She snapped her eyes shut suddenly, and bounced her forehead on the steering wheel repeatedly. She looked up suddenly, her eyes hard and bleak. Her mouth was fixed in a

tight line. She turned her truck off, and stepped out of the door. She was mumbling incoherently, and squeezed her head in between her hands as she started toward the direction of the meadow. I watched, swinging from tree to tree, making sure she was safe as she made her way into the general direction of where she thought to go. I was surprised at how well she remembered where the meadow was. She seemed to remember it very well.

She fell several times, but she always got right back up and kept trudging onward to the meadow. Soon, she stopped short, staring ahead with large eyes. She just stood there, eyes closed at the mouth of the meadow. Then she took off running, nearly tripping on a bed of moss. What _couldn't_ this girl trip on? She ran until she reached the very center, while i stayed behind and watched from the surrounding trees. She

collapsed on the ground into a fit of broken sobs and uncontrollable screams. She just lied there, curled into a tight ball screaming to nothing. To no one. Then her cries became more and more hoarse and rasp until she nearly lost her voice and she passed out into an exhausted and much needed sleep.

It would be obvious to anyone that it would be next to impossible to wake her in that deep of a sleep. So, i pushed my luck to the limit and hopped down to the ground soundlessly. I walked in a slow, human speed, savoring the taste of her air as it blew in my direction. I tasted the flames in my throat and welcomed them warmly, missing her impossibly sweet taste.

I stared incredulously at her at i she came in better view. So, i crept up closely, lying down next to her, facing her. Her face was paler than before, if that was at all possible. But it wasn't her usual transparent pale, it was a sickly blue tinted pale. Her new complexion only made the dark, swollen purple rings under her eyes that much more noticeable. Her cheekbones jutted out of her face due to obviously drastic loss of weight.

Her hair had lost it's reddish sheen in the sunlight. It looked dry, flat and unhealthy. Her hands were that of a skeleton. You could easily see the fragile bones beneath her papery skin. Her fingers were dainty and her fingernails were chewed down to the nub. This was not my Bella. She was suffering. That much was painfully obvious. My leaving had done nothing positive for her at all. Had she even given it a chance?

What if she...moved on? A part of me hoped so, but the more dominant Edward in me hoped and prayed this was not true. Well, if she moved on she would be happy. And she was not happy in any way. Obviously. What do I do? I really don't know if I'm going to be able to stay away much longer seeing her suffer like this. Perhaps I could just come forward, state my case and apology, and accept whatever she wants to do.

What if she didn't want me? What if she told me to get out of her life, and stay out this time? I-I don't know if I would be able to handle existing any longer knowing she wasn't happy. If I had never come into her life she wouldn't be so unhappy! So…destroyed…I'm a monster. I, Edward Cullen am monster with no excuse. What in the hell do I do now? Did I really think I'd be able to stay away from her forever? If she was happy, of course. I wouldn't come barging into her life if she was taken, happy, and _whole._ But she, my friends, was not whole in any way. Emotionally, anyway.

I watched her brows furrow as her calm, deep sleep took a turn for the worst. She twitched her head and a piece of hair cascaded across her face, leaving me no sight of Bella. If I was here, right next to her, I needed to see her. So, ever so gently…I lifted my finger and watched as it crept closer and closer to the unwelcome obstruction. I curled it around the chunk of fallen hair, and millimeter by millimeter, drug it away from her face. Then…she gasped suddenly, her hand swooped up and slapped mine away.

* * *

**CLLLLIIIIIIFFFFFHAAAAAANNNNNGGGGGGEEERRRRRR,**

ahsdhfhawelkjtio1!

I'm evil. Hahah. I know, i know! But, like i said i will post more up tonight, probably.

Anyways, i love you allllllllll.

REEEEVIEW. Mwahahahah!


	5. Chapter 5

_Aha! Chapter Five is finally up, my friends._

_I apoligize for the very evil cliffhanger at the end of Chapter four there. Hee hee. Sorry!_

_I just had to. This is a bit of a longer chapter._

_THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! For the phenominal reviews you guys put out there._

_Seriously, they are my favorite. I was giggling like a giddy little kid when i was reading them, and i nearly cried._

_I'm a big mush ball. But really, they mean a lot. Thanks Yous Alls._

_I hope you enjoy. OH! And, i hope i don't disappoint._

_READ ON!_

I froze.

I should have gotten up. I should have run away before she could see who was lying next to her. A million thoughts raced through my head in so little time. I know I could have gotten to the trees before she could see me, but a part of me forced myself to just stay. To let her see me. This is it, I thought. This is how it has to be. No. I can't do this to her. I promised her I would keep the

monster out of her life. And damn it, if I've made it this long, I can stay away at least a little bit longer. But still, I stayed. I laid there, internal battles raging inside my body. It felt like something inside me is trying to claw its way out. My insides were itchy, and electricity zinged through my body. I swallowed back my fear and indecision and waited… and waited… and waited… it hadn't even been half of a second and already so much was decided. It was the longest second of my entire existence.

She stretched and groaned, and squeezed her eyes shut, tightly. I felt my heart implode.

But she didn't wake up. She started panting and her brows furrowed together. I scooted back a few inches. She scrunched her face up and then her head started shaking back and forth. Her hand twitched forward.

"No. Don't go. Wait." She mumbled, dreaming.

I stared, wide-eyed. I expected her to open her eyes any second now. A single tear raced across her cheek, picking up speed as it inched over her cheekbone. It splattered against the grass. Several more followed, creating a small puddle where they collected one after the other. She gasped suddenly. I saw her pupils pacing across her lids, not wanting to view the nightmare they displayed.

I caught myself wondering what she was dreaming about. Or better yet, nightmaring. It was clearly not something one wants to dream about. I reached over again and dipped my finger in the small collecting puddle of her tears and put it to the corner of my eye. Now we were crying together. If I could create my own tears, right now would be the time I would choose to use them.

I opened my eyes wearily, glancing toward the setting sun. She needs to get back home to Charlie. To life. Without me, of course. This wasn't a mistake, no. I'm not going to lie. I don't regret this. I needed to spend time with her. Whether she was conscious or not.

"Edward."

My eyes shot back open. I looked at her, waiting impatiently.

"No! Stop. Come back! Don't leave me. Please. I can be better. It's my fault. Please. I love you, Edward."

I fought the urge to kiss her awake. To be her prince. To save her from the evil nightmares that enveloped her. To watch her eyes open, and hope that up close I could catch a glimpse of the eyes I knew so well. To prove that they were only empty from far away. Just an illusion.

Then she said it.

"I thought you loved me."

I went numb. From head to toe, I absolutely shut down. My eyes were wide open, but I couldn't see anything. Nothing.

I was nothing.

Suddenly, I whipped backwards. Oh well, I thought. No big deal. What worse could happen? What could make me feel any worse? It could be anybody and I wouldn't care. I only prayed they were there to rip me apart. I was drug soundlessly from my place next to her, back among the trees. I looked up, expecting anyone.

Alice? Oh. Okay. She just stared at me, eyes wide. Then she picked me up by my shirt collar, and embraced me. I slammed against her. It probably would have hurt a little if I was capable of feeling.

She hugged me for several minutes. She stroked my hair soothingly.

I just sat there, unmoving as she whispered sweet nothings into my ear.

"It will all be okay. It's fine. Shh."

How wrong she is. Nothing is okay. Nothing.

"I'm so sorry. But I had to get you out of the way. She was about to wake up."

Just then, right on que, Bella began to stir. Alice then hauled us up into a tree, farther from the waking beauty.

Bella clenched her fists together, rubbing her eyes ferociously. She then stumbled upward, and ran into the trees, only feet away from Alice and myself, who were hidden safely in a tree bed. She obviously was shocked at the fact it was late and she had fallen asleep. She ran hurriedly, trying to make it to her truck before it became too dark to see. She did make it out, completely oblivious to the two overprotective vampires stalking her, swinging from limb to limb like Tarzan and Jane.

She finally staggered back to the trail, sighing in relief at the familiar sight of her run-down truck. _Ah, civilization_, suited her expression precisely. She opened the door, and shrunk into the seat, exhausted. She started her truck and backed out slowly, making her way back home.

**Bella's POV-**

I felt empty and exhausted as I pulled out of the meadow. I drove slowly, aching. My throat was dry and hoarse and my eyes were swollen and empty. I was seriously going crazy. First, I hear His voice, and now I'm seeing Him everywhere I go. As I pulled into the trail, I swear I saw Him hanging in a tree bed, watching me adoringly. Of course, my mind is only seeing what it wants to see. Not what's really there.

As soon as I pulled into my driveway, I was surprised and slightly worried that Charlie's car wasn't here. I stammered inside, but to an empty house. So, I went up to my room to change and shower before anything else. On my way to snatching something comfortable to wear, I saw my cell phone. I snatched it up and flipped it open.

12 Missed Calls from Charlie. I eagerly checked my voicemail.

"Hey Bells, it's Charlie. Uh, well, we went fishing out of town and the weather is keeping us here. It doesn't seem like we'll be able to make it out anytime soon. So, I will NOT be coming home tonight. I'll call you if I get any news of when I'll be able to get out of here. There's some money in the jar, just order pizza or make something at home if you get hungry. I'd prefer it if you didn't go too far without me there, okay? Well, goodnight Bells. I'll see you soon."

Click.

The reality that the house was empty became more obvious. I felt more alone than I had in a long time. I took a deep breath and proceeded to finding some clothes. The shower was incredibly helpful. It's amazing how well a decent shower can always calm me down. I changed into my pajamas and hobbled down the stairs into the kitchen. I was suddenly aware of how absolutely famished I was. I opened up the cabinet and raised an eyebrow speculating the bare contents.

I settled for a box of vanilla milkshake Pop-Tarts. I nibbled half-heartedly. I shook my head trying to dispel the thoughts that kept bubbling up. I needed to distract myself so I couldn't think. I was trying not to think about Him. It was incredibly difficult sometimes. Especially on days like this. I finished my Pop-Tart and raced back to my room. I spread my eagle arms, and collapsed on my bed, cozying up with my covers.

I passed out not even a minute later. I was dead tired.

**Edward's POV-**

I was successfully able to tune out my family's worried conversations revolving around Bella and I although I was sitting right there. It was like turning down the volume on a stereo. I looked around numbly, the rest of me paralyzed. I saw Alice explaining everything to the family excitedly, her hands swooping this way and that, adding emphasis to her tale.

"Edward. EDWARD." I heard Rose call impatiently, shaking her hand in front of my face.

"See? He's out of it! Totally catatonic. Can vampires go catatonic, Carlisle?" I heard Alice murmur worriedly.

"Alice…be patient with him. He's having a hard enough time. After all, Bella—"

I tuned them out again.

I really didn't need to hear this. I didn't want to deal with this. There was only one place I wanted to be. That was with Her, of course. I stood up, drawing all their attention, and ran out of the house. I'm sure Alice was explaining to them in detail exactly where I was going and what was going to happen, right this moment. I leaped my way through the woods, pushing myself faster and faster until I was there. Right at the foot of her driveway. I stared up at her window, and watched as her lamp flicked on.

I gasped and backed into the woods. She approached the window slowly, and grasped it hastily. I watched her struggle with the stubborn window sill until it shot upwards, fully open. Who was she waiting for? Me, perhaps? Who else would scale her window without breaking their neck? _Mike Newton_ maybe, I joked humorlessly.

Although, I rather liked the idea of that Newton child breaking his neck in a failed attempt to reach Bella. I saw her cross the room, grab something and then trudge to the foot of her bed. She spread her arms out wide, like preparing to take flight, and collapsed onto her bed. She snapped her light back off and then it went silent. I could faintly hear her heart flutter and her breathing take on a slower, calmer beat.

I sat down, and thought. I reminisced every moment I had spent with her. From the first day to the last. I lingered on the memory of her skin, delicate warm and soft. She was the very vision of perfection, and she was mine. Ah. But the past is the past. And I'm a selfish monster. And she deserves the very best. Not me. But I should probably leave that up to her.

Let her decide if she wants me or not.

Then, a welcoming thought shot across my mind. Well why can't I watch her right now? I grinned devilishly remembering all the times I had snuck into her room to watch her sleep. The more I thought about it, the more desperate I became. Until, suddenly, I HAD to go and see her. I needed to watch her sleep. With my impatience obvious, I skittered forward only one step before something caught my eye.

I watched the tree near her window sway. It wasn't the wind making it move. There was something, or someone in that tree, moving closer to her openly welcoming window. Suddenly, I saw a curious figure in a dark sweatshirt with the hood up, swing itself back and forth on an erecting branch, seeking momentum. Then it abruptly flung itself directly into her window frame.

I sent the tree I was holding flying through the air until it cracked against a tree, splitting in half. I then lost whatever shred of sanity I was clinging on to.

That THING just climbed into Bella's window.

That THING is going to suffer.

Whatever that THING is.

In a single leap, I landed on the hood of Bella's truck, causing a slight dent. I then bounded through the air, landing silently on her window sill and peered into her dark room.

* * *

HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

RETURN OF ANOTHER EVIL CLIFFHANGER!

MWAHAHAHA!

I'm pure evil. Tee-hee. Any guesses of who this mysterious figure may be?!?!?!

Well, it took me forever to write this chapter, i'm suffering a serious case of writers block.  
It's becoming tougher and tougher to come up with witty, clever things to say.

My creativity is drying out. So...

No promises as to when the next chapter will be up. Soon, i hope!

I'll try to write more tomorrow, if i can come up with anything to say...Hm...

WELL. Review! Review! Review! Or, just add my story to your favorites list! That makes my day, too!

G'bye my lovely and extremely attractive FanFiction readers!

I love you all!

((:


	6. Chapter 6

**FINALLY UPDATED_._**

_It's all coming to me now._

_I'm just as annoyed at myself for taking so long to update as you are._

_I sort of had an idea of where i wanted this to go, but it just wasn't coming out right._

_But out of nowhere, when i was sitting in my hotel room watching COPS, inspiration struck!_

_So now i know what i want to do, for now._

_Well anyways, i'm sooooo sorry about taking forever and a day to update._

_I've also been quite distracted with reading "I Hate Myself For Loving You" by halojones._

_It's amazing. I recommend it, definitely._

_READ ON!_

* * *

It took only a 64th of a second to process what I was seeing. I wasn't about to take a second glance. I saw IT on IT's hands and knees on top of a cluelessly sleeping Bella, arching IT's neck, just about to kiss her.

I don't think so.

I kicked off the window with my left foot, sending myself tumbling straight into IT. With IT in a chokehold, we flew through 3 walls as if ripping through paper, passing the bathroom, and then into Charlie's room. There were chunks of plaster scattering to the floor behind us.

I was shocked as I looked down at the culprit.

Jacob Black?

He was knocked out cold. I loosened my grip around his neck. He laid there, limp and helpless. I took this to my advantage. I sent my fists flying through the air, crashing against his face. I was hissing and pummeling when I heard a blood curdling scream behind me. Oh my god.

Bella.

My fists came to an abrupt stop, an inch away from his already broken nose. I dropped him on the floor, and ever so slowly came to my feet still facing away from Bella.

I then turned around to face her. She stood several rooms away, trembling as she peered through 3 immense holes in the walls. As soon as she saw my face, her entire body went limp, and she began to fall to the floor.

But I made it to her first. I caught her with time to spare, bridal-style. Her warmth was sent streaming through my arms and to the rest of my body. I leapt on top of the bed, sitting down and slung her across my lap. My hands stroked her face greedily and I kept saying worriedly, "Bella. Bella! Oh, Bella."

I felt my world coming back together again with her in my arms, like puzzle pieces all clicking together at the same time. Feeling her skin after all this time sucked out all the awful in my life. It felt…right. Whole. Perfect.

Right?

Only a minute had passed, and yet, it may have been forever. Isabella Marie Swan, my whole reason for life…was in my arms. She was breathing softly, her chest heaving very subtly. Her cheeks had a glorious blush that happened to be my favorite color in the whole world. She looked slightly more like the Bella I knew before.

Bella had come back, hand-in-hand with all the previous happiness in my life. It was like feeling sunshine after a long spell of east wind out of a steel sky.

Her head twitched to the left, and I leaned forward instinctively, nearly shaking from excitement. She calmed and stirred twice more until her lovely eyelids fluttered open, her gaze fixed at my shoulder. She cocked her head slightly, and her brows furrowed in confusion.

"Bella." I sang, proudly.

Her eyes gaped, realizing who's arms she was in. She gasped and her eyes met mine. I released a soft smile. She began trembling as she stared at me, jaw dropped, eyes wide open like she was staring at a ghost. My eager eyes turned steely when I wondered if she was hurt. That dumb puppy better not have hurt her. Or did I hurt her?

"Bella! Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

She shook her head, trembling and tears welled up in her lids, threatening to break free.

"Bella, breathe!"

Right on cue, she began panting and her tears shook out of her lids. I realized she'd been holding her breath this whole time.

"Bella…I'm s-I'm so…I'm so sorry!" She began sobbing now.

I immediately began brushing the tears off her cheek as they came, one by one.

"Bella…please say something."

"Edward…What are you doing here?" She gasped between sobs.

Her voice was like music to my ears. I felt even happier than I had before, if that was at all possible. But I still couldn't ignore the hesitating underline of gloom I felt. I didn't know what it was. I could seem to place 'gloom' anywhere in my sights. For they were set on my dear Bella.

And she was okay. And she was in my arms. And that was it. And that was all that mattered.

"I came back for you, silly. Are you sure you're okay? I'm so sorry for what I did…Bella. I never should have left you—"

She cut me off then.

"NO, no. Shh. I get it. Okay. I'm sorry too. For not being good enough for you. For wasting your time in the first place."

She obviously didn't want to remember when I had left her. That's why she cut me off when I was talking. I can't blame her. That was a dark day…

"Bella. Don't say that. It's not true. I can't believe myself. It was all a lie! I never stopped loving you. I'll prove it."

I eagerly leaned in, aiming for a kiss on her lips. Her eyes grew even wider as I approached closer, and closer. The seemingly endless space between us was dissolving fast. She looked at me, torn. I saw hesitation, love, longing and…more hesitation in her eyes. But I needed this kiss. So I pretended I didn't see that and kept moving in.

But right on cue, a lamp crashing to the floor interrupted our moment. I was more than willing to ignore it to kiss her, but she looked up. Then she gasped, realizing something. She struggled out of my lap, and I removed my arms unwillingly. She jumped out of bed, surprisingly not tripping and skidded over to the massive hole in the wall and peered into it, shocked and worried.

Then she hit her hands to her forehead and began hyperventilating.

"Bella! Are you okay? What's wrong? Calm down, shh. It's okay, just breathe. It's going to be okay."

I ran to support her, but she broke away the moment my hands met her shoulders. Surprising me completely, she dipped one leg through the hole into the other room. She kicked a large clump of dry-wall out of her way and climbed in through the hole. I watched, confused as she skittered cautiously—not wanting to slip—over to the other side of the room where the next hole was.

She was mumbling worriedly, "No, no. Oh, no! This isn't happening…no, no, no!"

I saw the now barely conscious Jacob Black she was heading for.

"Bella, stop!" I began moving a moment too late as I saw her collapse to his side.

He groaned and leaned up on his elbows. He moved one hand to his nose, and pulled away, staring at the blood. He returned his hand to his nose, wincing barely when he cracked it back into place. Bella fluttered her hands helplessly over his body. She placed her dainty hand on his cheek and began murmuring worriedly, asking if he was okay.

He growled and grasped her waist. I hissed at the way he held her like she was his. He heard me and looked up, seeing me standing, three rooms away, glaring. His eyes were filled with such intense hate as he scowled at me, realizing I was the one who had kicked his ass just a moment ago.

He was completely motionless. Bella, worried another fight would break out, broke his gaze and grabbed his head, turning it to her direction.

He stroked her hair in return. He looked into her eyes—I didn't like the way he did. He looked at her like she belonged to him…

Oh my god…

He stole one more glance in my direction before he gripped the back of her hair gently, but forcefully, and kissed her. He closed his eyes at first, and then opened them to glower at me, and make sure I was watching. He was making sure I knew where he stood with her. I felt my heart implode. She DID belong to him.

She put her hand on his cheek and then tapped his shoulder gently, her way of telling him she needed air. He released her, peering at me the whole time, and a wicked little grin spread across his face. I blinked in shock. I was too heartbroken to move.

So, I just stood there, taking it all in. I took a step out of my shoes and looked in at the situation before me. I was the only one doing anything wrong here. Jacob Black, Bella's boyfriend—wince—was just sneaking into her room to give her a kiss when I sent him flying through three walls, beating his face to a bloody pulp, and then holding Bella, selfishly expecting her to be happy to see me.

I took a hesitant step backward…preparing to leave.

Jacob, in turn, stood up, bringing Bella up with him, pinning her to his side. Her hand was resting on his chest, a worthless barrier between us two. She glanced back and forth worriedly between the two of us. She didn't want any more fighting. I can't say I'd be too opposed to the concept of somebody ripping me apart at that very moment…

"What are you doing here, leech?" He growled.

"I-I-I'm…I'm so…I'm, uh. I'm so sor—"

"I-I-I-I" He barked, mocking me now.

"Spit it out EDD-WERRD." He managed to make my name sound like a cuss word.

"Jake, stop! He didn't know any better. He was just protecting me." Bella interrupted.

"Well you're not his to protect are you now, baby?" He countered, knowing how much pain this inflicted on me.

I felt about 2 inches small and shrinking still.

"Knock it off! Look, Jake, you need to calm down."

He looked down at her, no apology in his eyes. Her eyes sharpened in return.

"KNOCK. IT. OFF. NOW." She spoke each word slowly and carefully. Her voice was beyond pissed.

He sighed in return.

"I'm sorry, Bells." He stole a quick kiss on her lips.

She put her head in her hands.

"Bella, may I speak with you a moment, please?" I murmured those words, stifling all the sobs waiting to escape.

"Uh. Yeah. Just wait here a sec, Jake. I'll be right over here." She assured him.

She climbed through the holes and walked up to me, keeping an obvious distance. She stared at her toes as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. I needed to see her face. So, without thinking, I took my finger and put it beneath her chin, gently raising her to face me. Jacob growled and I turned my head to face him, wondering why he growled.

He stood there, his face hard as a rock, his arms across his chest, shaking his head slowly. He was reminding me to keep my hands to myself.

Ouch.

I had no choice. I quickly returned my hands to my sides, forcing them with obvious effort, to stay there.

"So, Bella. You don't consider dating a very new werewolf reckless or dangerous in any way?" I said, sternly.

I ignored the "Pfft" coming from Jacob after I mentioned his being dangerous.

"I guess we both broke our promise then, didn't we?" she reminded me, without missing a beat.

"You're right, I suppose. I can't exactly say I approve…but nonetheless, I am delighted that you're happy…"

You know, I really am getting too good at lying. As if I could approve of the love of my life dating a werewolf. It's just as wrong as drunk driving. Friends don't let friends date werewolves. Both drunk driving and dating werewolves are stupid, reckless, and unmistakably dangerous.

"Oh." She said, returning her gaze to her feet.

Jacob weaved gracefully through the holes, right behind Bella. His stench had me stepping backwards, and I'm assuming that's exactly what he wanted.

He snaked his steely arm around her waist, pinning her to his chest. She looked even smaller and more fragile in his arms. She gulped loudly and closed her eyes.

"It's late Bells. You need your sleep, it's 3:35 in the morning. Why don't we continue this tomorrow, at a more appropriate time and place?" Jacob murmured to her, lovingly, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"Right. That sounds good." She began to turn to her bed, but turned back to me very suddenly.

"You're staying here right? You won't leave? You'll be back." She murmured, worried now.

"Oh, I'll be back, Isabella. Don't worry."

She smiled faintly in sync with Jake's obnoxious grimace.

She glanced between the two of us, making sure we weren't going to tackle each other to the ground as soon as she turned her back. If she only knew how much I'd love to…

"Night Bella." He put his monstrous hand on her dainty waist and kissed her hair.

I shuddered at the sight. It just seemed so…wrong. No, she belongs to him. There's nothing I can do about it. I've got no claim on her now. I was about to leave when I saw something flicker across his eyes. A devilish grin whipped across his face as he turned. And once again, he stared at me the whole time he did this.

He suddenly glanced down at Bella's backside. I froze, wondering what he was doing now.

"Watch This." He mouthed silently to me.

He suddenly snaked his russet arm out and smacked her flat on the butt.

I probably would have just jumped out the window and ran, because what was killing me was that he COULD do that. He probably does it all the time. Because she's probably just a piece of meat to him.

And I couldn't stop him. Because she's not mine.

But then she spun around and gasped, staring at him, shocked. He was still staring me down with that devilish grin on his face.

"Na-na-na-na-boo-boo!" suited his expression precisely. He was taunting me.

She realized that he was only doing this to hurt me and she began to cry immediately.

This seriously hurt her. She looked as if she felt used. She was balling now.

Oh HELL no.

Not even he had time to morph into a dog before I came crashing into him. He did after a moment, though.

* * *

_Don't worry. I'm writing this next chapter as we speak!_

_Woooo Hoooo!_

_This cliffhanger isn't that cruel, is it?_

_Patience, patience._

_Thank you so much for being patient with me. You guys are my favorite._

_Much love,_

_Me._


	7. Chapter 7

_This is a really short chapter._

_But, it seemed like a good place to stop._

_Well. Here you go. Enjoy, please._

_Any questions? Suggestions? Let me know._

_Any and all responses are greatly appreciated._

_READ ON!_

**Bella's POV-**

I stood there, completely helpless as to what was happening right before my eyes. I saw the rage burning in Edward's eyes as he watched Jake smack my rear. As if he owned me. As if I was just a piece of meat. Jacob was taunting him, and Edward snapped. Edward moved too fast for my dull human eyes to see. But I could hear the deafening crash as he tackled Jacob once again. It was like a thunderclap right inside my room.

I gasped as I saw Jake explode in Edward's arms. Edward was taken aback only slightly before ramming back into him twice as hard. I had never seen Jake phase so closely to me before. It was all happening before me, only a few feet away. Maybe if I can get close enough, they'll realize that it's too dangerous to fight with me there and stop. Well, I can't just stand here, anyway!

I took off after the two. I winced as I saw Jake's jaws come half an inch away from Edward's face, only to be punched back by Edward's fist. Edward obviously had the upper hand in the fight since he knew every move Jake was about to make. But I could tell he was obviously trying his best to not destroy the whole room. I could only imagine how difficult that would be.

"STOP IT! NO! DON'T HURT EACHOTHER!" I was sobbing and screaming. I could barely make out my own words as I huffed over to the brawl.

But, suddenly, icy hands grabbed my waist, pulling me back. I was spun around and thrown over somebody's shoulder. I screamed out of shock as we were catapulted out the window. I was set down on the hood of my truck, panting. I looked up to see none other than Emmett. His eyes were bright, excited with a new fight.

He carefully placed his icy hand on my cheek.

"Hey little sis! Can't talk. STAY HERE." And with that, in one swift movement, he quickly pecked me on the forehead before racing back into my window.

Even despite the situation, seeing the Cullens trickle back into my life, one by one was beyond enlightening. I felt a pang of love as I saw him scale up my wall to my window. But then I remembered why he was here, and where he was headed and all happiness disappeared once again. I looked up, shocked as I was just now noticing that it was raining. I was soaked.

I shivered, scolding myself for the skimpy pajamas I had on. Just a tank top and some shorts, and I was left trembling on my truck hood. I rubbed my arms, desperately seeking warmth. But, the one good thing about rain is you can't see your tears when you're in it. I was rocking back and forth now, staring at my window, forcing my eyes wider as if that would let me see inside somehow.

I winced as I heard a loud crash followed by a yelp.

"Jake…" I whispered.

Then suddenly, "_Ow_! You stupid mutt! Emmett, get up and help me here!"

Ugh! I can't take this! They're not going to stop fighting until somebody is killed. I can't just sit here and let them fight. I'd die of guilt if any one of them died and I knew I could have stopped it somehow. I jumped off the hood and started for the front door, twisting the knob. _Locked_.

I stretched, reaching on top of the door frame for the hidden key. I grasped it and put it to the knob. My hands were shaky so it took me a moment to jam it into the keyhole. I turned it hastily and threw the door open. It slammed against the wall. I threw it back shut it one swift motion as I sprinted for the staircase. I stumbled only slightly on one step.

As I reached the top of the staircase, I barreled down the hallway, heading straight for my room. My door was already open. I didn't hesitate as I ran inside. I gasped loudly at what I saw. Edward was struggling to pin Jacob's lower body, and keep his hind legs pinned. Emmet was working on squeezing his muzzle shut. One of Jake's paws pinned beneath Emmett's knee escaped and scratched Emmett's arm.

"OW! DAMNIT THAT **HURT**!" Emmett roared, returning Jake with a big pound of his fist right in Jake's ear.

Edward looked up to see me standing there, soaking wet and trembling, terrified.

"Bella! Get out of here! It's all under control!" He tried to assure me.

Did he think I was that stupid? Things were most definitely not under control.

"Hold him still!" I commanded.

They were not going to approve of what I was about to do. Emmett looked up at me, helpless. He certainly didn't want me to interfere, but there wasn't much they could do. I fanned my body over the horse-sized wolf. His wriggling slowed as he realized I was straddling him, and he needed to be very careful. But I understood how hard it was to control temper when he's phased.

I roughly grasped two fists full of his hair, knowing it would feel gentle to him. I placed my cheek to his face, my lips at his ear. And sang the only song I could think of. One of the few songs that I knew all the words to.

**See the pyramids around the Nile.  
Watch the sunrise from a tropic isle.  
Just remember, darling all the while,  
you belong to me.**

**See the marketplace in old Angier,  
send me photographs and souvenirs.  
Just remember when a dream appears,  
you belong to me.**

**And I'll be so alone without you,  
maybe you'll be lonesome too.**

I felt his breathing slow. I glanced down at Edward and nodded my head softly. He looked extremely hesitant, but decided in the end to trust me and slowly released his grip, setting his paws back on the floor as if they were two bombs threatening to explode. I lifted my head and looked up at Emmett, nodding my head. I continued petting Jake, soothingly. He could still snap and go back to being angry at any moment.

Emmett nodded in return, eyes wide, glancing back between me and Jacob worriedly.

Jacob felt Emmett moving his hands and began growling again, starting to squirm.

I hurriedly returned my cheek to his, my lips to his ear and sang again, louder this time.

**fly the ocean in a silver plane  
see the jungle when it's wet with rain  
just remember till you're home again  
you belong to me**

**oh I'll be so alone without you  
maybe you'll be lonesome too**

**fly the ocean in a silver plane  
see the jungle when it's wet with rain  
just remember till you're home again  
you belong to me.**

**(You Belong To Me – Jason Wade of Lifehouse)**

I felt him shift harmlessly. Suddenly, I felt his shape distort below me, and looked down to see my Jake Black in his normal human form, staring up at me adoringly. He put his great hands on the sides of my face, stroking my cheeks. I laid back down and rested my head on his neck when I heard him sniffle.

I looked up, curious, to see a tear escape his right eye. I kissed it softly.

He grinned a strange smile suddenly, and glanced downward.

"Um, Bella…could you grab a towel or something…"

"OH! Haha. Oh, right. Whoops." I giggled completely forgetting he was naked. I stood up and turned around, throwing a towel behind my shoulder to Jake's general direction behind me.

"All clear" he said. I spun around and hugged him, glad everything was okay now.

"OW!" He barked suddenly, and I backed away, worried.

"What's wrong, Jake?"

"Ugh, I got beat up pretty bad," he mumbled, glaring back at Emmett and Edward.

"Oh, no. Will you be okay?" I said, my voice thick with instant worry.

He laughed at this. "Bella, you seem to be forgetting I'm stronger than you think. I can handle it; I just need to go get some rest."

"Right. Do you need a ride?"

"No, no. YOU need to get to sleep, too, Bella. It's so late. Or, rather early."

"Yeah, okay. Oh. And, I hope you feel better soon. I-uh-might not be here tomorrow..." I said, glancing up at Edward and Emmett.

"Just call my cell phone if you need company, or anything at all. Okay?" I continued.

"Okay. Thank you so much Bella. I just might call you to come sing to me and make me feel better. Your singing is the most beautiful thing I've ever heard." He murmured.

I turned tomato red right on cue and his thumb brushed my cheekbone.

"There it is," he said, admiring my blush.

"I love you Bella. So much. And I can't tell you how sorry I am for acting like a pig…"

I nodded, and leaned in for a quick kiss.

He stood up and returned his hand to my level, I took it, and he raised me upwards. He grimaced when his stare met Edward and Emmett. But he took a deep breath and slowly collected himself.

"I'll be in touch", he said, releasing my hand. "Call me if you need _anything_."

"I will. Bye Jake."

He grinned at me. "Bye Bells."

He passed directly through Edward and Emmett his shoulders bumping both of theirs. He hissed something at the two of them that he assumed I couldn't hear. But I'm not that deaf.

"Go f*ck yourselves."

Emmett giggled and scoffed at this. Edward's face was distant, his eyes fixed on the floor. It was as if he didn't even hear Jake.

I felt cool arms embracing me, and then I slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

_See?_

_SUPER short. But, i was on a roll anyways._

_Well. I'll brainstorm what i want to do from here, and i swear, i'll update as soon as i get something good._

_I'd hate to post something up hastily and have it turn out to be super crappy._

_Patience. Thank you._

_Review, Favorite, Whatever. Do your thing._

_Much Love,_

_Me._


	8. Chapter 8

_Hey. I know it's been forever._

_So sorry._

_Here's a new chapter, and i've got more coming._

_Chat me up._

_Comments, suggestions? Let me know._

_READ ON!_

**Bella's POV-**

I woke up the next morning very surprised to see direct rays of eager sunlight streaming through the window. I was very much disgusted to find myself covered in sweat, and my eyes wet and swollen once again. The adrenaline was still pumping in my veins as I waited for my breathing to slow. My hand reached out without my permission, grasping and clinging to the lumpy bedding beneath me, searching for somebody not even there.

I paused, and then brought my hands down and prodded beneath myself. I was not in my bed. I unwillingly opened my eyes, only to meet my fists eagerly rubbing away the unwelcomingly embarrassing tears. I blinked around and gasped as my suspicions were confirmed. I certainly was not in my room. This much was for sure. My eyes kept searching worriedly until I recognized where I was.

I was in Edward's room.

Confused, I looked below me and found myself on a bed of at least 30 individual pillows, fashioned into a make-shift bed on Edward's floor. I failed to suppress the smile that came automatically. Well, wow, this was really comfortable. I sighed, content, and slouched back into the pillows, nuzzling my cheek against the side softly and bringing the blanket back up to my face.

My eyes shot open very suddenly, as realization fully dawned on me. If I was in Edward's room, that would mean I was at the Cullens' house…I quickly whipped the blanket off of myself and struggled to my feet. I bounded for the door, smiling and laughing softly. I allowed each of the Cullens' faces to come into my mind, knowing it would be okay because I would see them very soon.

I threw the door open and peered out, excited. I bounded back down the stairs to find the family room empty. So, I tried the kitchen, too. Soon, I had scoured the entire house without a clue as to where they were.

"Hm," I mumbled. "Wonder where…"

Well, wherever they were, they couldn't take too long. So, I wandered aimlessly around the family room. I kept glancing over at the piano sitting there with a ray of sunshine cast across it as if it were beaconing me. Haha, I laughed at the thought of myself playing the piano well. Well, I am bored, I thought. So, I strode over to the piano and lightly ran my finger down one key. I sat down and stared at it for a moment.

Then, I sighed and placed my right hand on the keys. I tinkered with it for a moment before playing "Mary Had A Little Lamb." Just about the only song I knew how to play. I had taken piano lessons when I was much younger, but like most young kids I hated it. I begged my mom like a baby until she gave up and let me quit. I had only gotten to learn how to play "Mary Had A Little Lamb" before I quit.

I was tinkering with the keys when I shrill scream broke my limp tune.

"BBEELLLLAAAAAAAA!!!!!"

I turned around, to face the owner of the lovely musical voice.

"ALICE!"

Without a moment to spare, she ran right up to me and threw me into a surprisingly bear-like hug for someone her size.

"Alice—can't—breathe!"

"Then hold your breath a minute! I missed you so, so, so, so, so, so, much, Bella!" She chimed.

I just realized now that I was sobbing like a baby. It seemed as though every intense emotion I had was fused together with my tear ducts. I squeezed her back as best as I could, one leg still straddling the piano bench awkwardly. She broke away, my shoulders in her hands and looked at me, only to swoop back in for a kiss on my cheek, then returning me to her embrace.

She held me, occasionally twisting back and forth cooing my name, for what seemed like forever. She broke our hug suddenly, and turned me to face the door. I looked forward and began sobbing again as soon as I saw the whole Cullen family, minus Edward, standing at the doorway, watching happily. Esme was next to swoop to my side and hug me as if she hadn't seen me in many, many years.

After every hug was given, and only Rosalie still stood at the doorway. She refused to meet my gaze; her lovely lips pursed in thought and just stared at her heels. Even though she had never been my favorite, deep down I'd be lying if I said I didn't love her to death, too. She was exactly like the big sister I'd always wanted, but never gotten. She was like the Barbie doll too expensive for me to play with.

I bravely stepped forward, a warm smile on my face. I was standing right in front of her now, facing her, staring directly at her face. Her lips pursed even more so, and her eyes reluctantly left her heel to meet my eager gaze. I could tell she was trying to intimidate me with the stare she gave. Honestly, it did work, to a certain extent. This was the scowl she would give if she wanted me to piss myself.

But, for the moment, I was absolutely euphoric. I grinned widely at her, and her glare wavered slightly. I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around her. She gasped, shocked, at my bravery. She stood there frozen, eyes wide, not knowing what to do. I was sobbing on her shoulder, savoring the rare feeling of true happiness. My heart stuttered as I felt her arm rest on my lower back. I could just imagine the look on her face…

I broke away to see the very expression I had expected. Her eyes were wide open, shocked. Her mouth was locked into a small 'O', and I giggled softly.

"I missed you Rosalie."

She stayed silent, but that was okay, because I really didn't expect her to say anything. I was just too excited to think coherently. Alice ran over, giggling and squealing and clapping her hands.

"Ooh! Let's have a girl's night!" We both looked over at Alice who was bouncing up and down.

I looked back at her and she turned back to me, and I saw the slightest grin on her face.

"Whatever you want, Alice," I said, grinning.

Alice had the whole bit going. Us three girls, sitting in Alice's room on her couch in front of the TV watching cliché romantic movies. Alice even went to the lengths of buying truck-loads of expensive junk food to make it more official. Alice had makeovers and nail-painting in mind, much to my disappointment. But I was just too happy to protest. I was back at the Cullen's house with Alice, my best friend…and Rosalie. I'd say it's too soon to call us BFF's yet, but I can most definitely see that she's warming up to me.

Rose was quiet for most of the night. But she didn't really have a choice. Alice was babbling a mile a minute about how much she missed me, and how boring things were without me. I blushed at the thought of being so important to someone. I'd never really had a best friend. I didn't know what it was like, really. I never seemed to relate to people my age. I could never really relate.

I often spent my weekends at home, reading. I'm ashamed to say that on more occasions that one I'd lied to my friends so I could stay in rather than go out with the rest of my friends. There was so much that Forks offered to me, that I had never in my life expected. I was blessed, to say the least. It was probably wrong to feel happy, permanently. But it just seemed impossible that things could go wrong again. But as much as I'd love to deny it, so easily could they pull the rug from under me. Again.

I know they meant well, but could they really see me happy without them? The thought was absolutely barbaric.

"Bella, are you even listening to me?" Alice interrupted my thoughts.

"I'm trying to Alice! But you're talking too fast. It just sounds like you're mumbling! Human speeds, Alice. Human speeds." I laughed.

They both joined in, and I closed my eyes, savoring the beautiful sound of their laughter. Rosalie rested her hand on my leg and Alice leaned her head on my shoulder. We watched the rest of the movie in silence. As the film came to a close, I was surprised to see myself crying. It was just so beautiful. I couldn't help it. Alice looked up at me, surprised.

"Bella, are you crying?" She giggled.

"How could you tell?" I scoffed, sarcastic.

Rose jumped up and popped another movie in. For some reason, I couldn't shake the feeling of unease. My stomach was doing cartwheels in my stomach, and I couldn't calm myself down. "It must have been all the junk food," I told myself. But I could lie to myself all I wanted, I still felt strangely out of place somehow, not myself. Like when you know something bad is going to happen. A new round of tears came on, but I soaked them with my sleeve immediately and bit the feeling back.

I pretended not to see Alice glancing nervously at me. I hoped it wasn't too late to blame the tears on the previous movie…

"Bella." I could tell by Alice's tone she knew something was up. She was probably expecting me to tell her what was wrong, but how could I tell her when I didn't even know myself? I was just a little emotional. There was a lot going on lately…

I coughed, clearing my throat. My voice bellowed out ridiculously husky. I sounded like a man trying to sound extra manly.

"Yeah, Alice?"

"I'm sorry. For…everything."

"Edward was stupid to leave you. I don't know what it was he was trying to accomplish."

Her tone wrenched up the feelings I had been struggling so hard to fight back. I felt a thick lump swelling in my throat and I could taste a strange metallic taste in my mouth. I looked down to see my palms sweating and my hands trembling. I could feel it now, the violent waves of pain rocking my body from head to toe. Just from a few measly words, it drudged up everything I was hiding from myself. I realized that I'd been holding my breath, so I let it go and it came out in a violent huff. I began hyperventilating.

I couldn't breathe.

* * *

_I told you i have more coming. I do._

_Thanks for the amazing reviews, suggestions, and support._

_I probably would have abandoned this story if it weren't for you lovely people._

_Thank You, Thank You, Thank You._

(:


	9. Chapter 9

_Alright, i suppose you guys deserve an explanation. _

_I'm very passionate about writing, but i have to be passionate about what i'm writing about for it to be in any way decent writing._

_That's right, i'm over my Twilight obsession. While this might seem bad enough, i've committed what some believe is the worst form of betrayal._

_I turned to Harry Potter._

_GASP!_

_I know. _

_But, recently, in all the excitement over the upcoming New Moon movie, I GOT SO PUMPED WHEN I SAW THAT TRAILER ON THE VMAs! I felt especially guilty about my story, and decided to try and write a bit more..._

_[Oh, and Kanye's an ass. :)]_

_Well, i felt terrible for basically abandoning this story, so i decided that i should write now before my interest completely disappears once more. My summer was pretty lazy indeed, and now i am a Freshman in High School. Woop woop. Well, anway, i'm babbling pointlessly, so here's my next chappie. It's puny and boring and weird and confusing, but bare with me. I've already got another chapter i'm tweaking at the moment. And, you may notice that my writing isn't nearly as vivid as it once was, but like i said, _**I'm very passionate about writing, but i have to be passionate about what i'm writing about for it to be in any way decent writing. **_And sad though it may be, i'm not very passionate about Twilight anymore. But i'm hanging on..._

* * *

I opened my eyes to a new place. I was confused because although I was sure my eyes were open I could see nothing. It was pure black everywhere I turned my eyes. I squeezed my eyes back shut and then opened them widely as if that would help me see even though I knew there was nothing to view. I twisted my head around, and stretched my fingers out, feeling the strange air around me.

The air was thick, almost like water but I could breathe. I was almost floating, but not quite. I took a deep breath, and it came in normally as though I wasn't even in this alien place. Beside the off atmosphere surrounding me, a strange terror hung thick in the air around me. I felt as though I should be running from an unseen danger behind me. No. All around me. I didn't know where to run.

But I took off anyway, thrusting my legs ahead of me where they landed blindly on nothing but air. I found myself panting and pushing myself to run faster. The heavy pressure of impending danger was crashing all around me. It was just like running in water, your legs can't kick ahead fast enough. As if I was running through thick, heavy mud. My eyes were wide open, staring into the endless black all around me.

This dream could not end fast enough.

It couldn't get any worse, and why won't I wake up?

Something suddenly flickered in front of my eyes. I saw two bright orbs in the distance, several yards away from each other. Something similar to intuition about them told me this is what I was running for, not from. So I hurried ahead and slowed down when the two figures became more distinct. I could see the details of their faces as I came to a halt. There, before me was Jacob and Edward staring directly at me.

They both had a faint smoky glow around their skin, giving me the only light I had. I didn't know what I felt. I scrounged inside myself for some given emotion to fit the situation, relief, happiness, excitement…fear… I could find nothing. But at least the terrified feeling was gone. I searched their faces for some answer maybe to where this dream would take me, what it meant.

I took a few steps forward to get a better look at their faces. There was something about their expressions that was unmistakable. It made my stomach turn upside down. They were both sharing the same expression. It was smug, confident, and…expectant? Something about it made me sick. At that very moment they both turned their faces to each other as if to size up the other opponent in a competition.

Then, they both lifted a hand up, reaching for me.

"Bella," they both said harmoniously.

"Come to me, Bella. Come here. I love you, Bella."

The way their voices were synchronized like that scared me. There was a rude edge to the way they reached out, as if it were all a competition and I was the prize. This was going to be difficult. Not just the dream, but real life. No matter what I decide, somebody gets hurt.

Suddenly, both their faces morphed into a mortified expression. They were staring at me, and then glared behind me. The feeling of terror came back to me all at once, and I tried to run again, but it was no use. My legs were frozen, paralyzed. Just like Edward's and Jacob's legs seemed to be. I mustered up all my strength and turned around to face the worst of my nightmare.

Two bright lights side by side were all I could see, moving directly at me at an incredible speed. Then, as they closed the rest of the distance between us, the breath remaining in my lungs was knocked out of me. The two bright lights spread out and swallowed me whole. I heard someone screaming until I realized it was me.


End file.
